Friday, April 29, 2011

Snorry McSnorrerson

ahhhhh... snorry mc gooberson is in my room. A creepy old german guy in tighty whities is snoring up a storm. Faaaantastic.

I don't think my earplugs are gonna hold a candle against this fellers bonfire. BRUTAL.

Creepy? I say this because earlier today as I'm sipping on my drink in the hostel bar he saddles up next to me at the bar and - inconspicuously? I think not - presses his knee into mine. Rest assured, there was plenty of room, and this was not an over-reaction to a squishy situation. Oh, no. I'm then thrust into a conversation I don't particularily want to be in - nor can understand very well due to his thick accent and liquored up brain power - but I politely oblige, as long as I can handle it. The problem is that persistantly pervasive knee, yes, but also in his enduring need to lean in to me as he speaks. Sure, you're thinking, he's leaning in, creepy old guy, straying knee, whatever.. he's lookin for a cheap thrill. But his breath.. oh heavens his breath.. smelled a little bit like he'd spent some time praying to the porcelain gods. And every word he speaks has me envisioning chunky bits flying from his mouth.


This is not exactly condusive to productive conversation, let me tell you. I finally politely excuse myself and move along my merry way.

So I enter my room this evening to a symphony of saw worthy snores and a giggling roomate waving his hands in the air like a conductor. Lo and behold, it's my ol' german pal, scantily clad in the tightest pair of underwear a young woman never wants to see a man of that age sporting, doing the best impression of a hacksaw I've ever heard.

Joy, squared.

I've gotten kind of close with a couple of the hostel workers, though, and I'm hoping to maybe sleep elsewhere? It's funny.. it's an 8 bed dorm and this man's going to wake up to a completely empty room. My conductor roomate is paying for his stay by working at the hostel, and is trying to butter up his way out of dodge, too.

Evacuate!!! - I'm thinking - Creepy old snoring german on the loose!

Hmm.. I think I'm SOL on the new room frontier. Farknutters.. joy, cubed? I hope he's only staying one night.. ooh man. Not sure I can go into the fourth dimension of joy with this fella.

Alright, here I go.. earplugs at the ready. Goodnight and sweet dreams! Haha.. riiight.


1 comment:

  1. OMG I think my favorite post so far!!!!! God I think I would sleep with mousetraps around my bed just in case lol!!!!! I had an incident like that with old guy in a speedo that revealed way to much and a hot tub in Toronto once, I thought I was gonna throw up in the hot tub. I got the hell out of there fast.

    Miss you tons, hope all is well. I miss Malaysia, been home a month and wish I were back there.